North Korea, Best Korea!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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