I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
