Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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