it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
