Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
