omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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