What a fucking waste of an outfit
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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