haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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