What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
