next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
