I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the day after is always just damage control
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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