I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
