Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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