I like to think it a success when the cops are called
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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