im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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