we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
