had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
