i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
