Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
