The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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