that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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