all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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