apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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