don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Found your dick twin last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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