so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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