I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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