Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
