This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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