Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
