Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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