Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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