yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
