One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
