I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
