She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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