ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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