Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
