We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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