Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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