My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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