i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
