i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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