Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
