if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
