i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
