Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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