I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
