I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
