I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
