I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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