it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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