Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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